Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.

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  (951): Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable. http://tfl.nu/q51j
  Replies (31) Good night (6904) Bad night (1315)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again

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  (906): It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again http://tfl.nu/8319
  Replies (22) Good night (2356) Bad night (5123)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.

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  (724): I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more. http://tfl.nu/i8a4
  Replies (13) Good night (3233) Bad night (1231)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.

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  (210): I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad. http://tfl.nu/3nvp
  Replies (33) Good night (960) Bad night (6906)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.

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  (541): Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening. http://tfl.nu/zy8e
  Replies (26) Good night (1268) Bad night (8114)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.

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  (417): She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit. http://tfl.nu/3bxb
  Replies (21) Good night (3813) Bad night (1352)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday

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  (920): Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday http://tfl.nu/tp2d
  Replies (6) Good night (2872) Bad night (726)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.

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  (608): We should search craigslist for porches to sublet. http://tfl.nu/mpxg
  Replies (2) Good night (1717) Bad night (739)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.

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  (630): Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/ain1
  Replies (4) Good night (1772) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?

  (289): View more from Ontario

  You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.

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  (519): Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia? (289): You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname. http://tfl.nu/fwap
  Replies (7) Good night (1376) Bad night (2688)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically

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  (602): She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically http://tfl.nu/1zdp
  Replies (5) Good night (3965) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"

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  (336): By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student" http://tfl.nu/w2vs
  Replies (10) Good night (2614) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.

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  (910): Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down. (803): Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you. http://tfl.nu/a5n4
  Replies (8) Good night (1767) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural

  (407): View more from Florida

  YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT

  (239): View more from Florida

  ..........

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  (239): I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural (407): YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT (239): .......... http://tfl.nu/j8fw
  Replies (8) Good night (1503) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could

  (1306): View more from

  well, that escalated quicky

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  (306): he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could (1306): well, that escalated quicky http://tfl.nu/lv5m
  Replies (5) Good night (1237) Bad night (319)

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