Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot

  (586): View more from Michigan

  That was very cool/italian of you

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving

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  (586): You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot (586): That was very cool/italian of you (586): Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving http://tfl.nu/l4rm
  Replies (11) Good night (2032) Bad night (910)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.

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  (765): just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away. http://tfl.nu/4aee
  Replies (25) Good night (1786) Bad night (902)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.

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  (802): PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know. http://tfl.nu/g6tj
  Replies (13) Good night (4043) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....

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  (985): he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say.... http://tfl.nu/7igc
  Replies (41) Good night (1212) Bad night (2990)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

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  (508): the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party http://tfl.nu/wsii
  Replies (30) Good night (6061) Bad night (1166)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.

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  (315): The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style. http://tfl.nu/brn7
  Replies (15) Good night (5272) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.

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  (724): Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over. http://tfl.nu/rd2c
  Replies (5) Good night (3393) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.

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  (859): We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints. http://tfl.nu/0ly1
  Replies (5) Good night (3407) Bad night (1108)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.

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  (+61): You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd. http://tfl.nu/nwi3
  Replies (16) Good night (5012) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.

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  (608): We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth. http://tfl.nu/k58a
  Replies (29) Good night (2298) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick

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  (765): so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick http://tfl.nu/orgy
  Replies (7) Good night (1096) Bad night (695)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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  (703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17
  Replies (1) Good night (1441) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.

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  (402): On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus. http://tfl.nu/e88p
  Replies (4) Good night (1058) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.

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  (614): Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month. http://tfl.nu/2n60
  Replies (4) Good night (658) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water

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  (614): You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water http://tfl.nu/21tc
  Replies (1) Good night (1273) Bad night (380)

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