well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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