Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.