Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
