oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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