Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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