a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
