Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
