watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
