After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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