And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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