She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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