Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
