My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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