what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
