Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
