in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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