id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
