grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
