Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
