I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
