I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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