Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
