We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
