i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
