they need to just BURY HIM!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
