ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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