i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize