We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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