My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
