We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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