why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
