You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
