i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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