The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She even gives head with a lisp.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
