I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
