I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
