got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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