My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
