Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
