remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
