all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
