I think my vagina is haunted
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
