So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
