My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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