he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
