you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
