I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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