He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we're making bets on your personal life
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize