You made me cry and you don't even care
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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