I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
