my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize