We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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