May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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