the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
