Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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