I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my sisters under your porch take her home
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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