you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize