I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
