Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
