Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
