does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
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how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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