i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Small penises have feelings too.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
