i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
