I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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