we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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