hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
