toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
