I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
